"I Let All My Kids Eat Dirt"

When I was pregnant with Gretchen, people shared all sorts of parenting "advice" with me.

Forty weeks and one day, circa January 2009.

Forty weeks and one day, circa January 2009.

I'm saying "advice" with grumpy air-quotes because most of it wasn't actually helpful or kind, it was basically just people telling me how I was definitely going to fuck up ALL THE THINGS.

My daughter didn't even have a fully formed face before the people of planet Earth deemed me an unfit mother.

And it got worse once her face WAS fully formed, along with the rest of her body, and she was living happily on the outside of my incapable womb.

"You shouldn't carry her in a sling like that... she'll never learn to walk."

You're right. The world is filled with 19 year olds in slings because their parents carried them in a sling. Nailed it.

"Don't let her sleep in your bed, she'll never leave it."

Right again. I'm pretty sure CEOs worldwide go home to their mommy's house to snuggle up in bed incase they have a nightmare.

"Just let her cry it out. It's good for her."

*eyetwitch*

"If she can ask for milk, she's too old to be nursing." 

OHMIGAWD SHUT UP.

I think as a new parent, or ANY parent, you get used to a certain amount of "advice" being chucked your way and eventually, you figure your own shit out and the rest of it starts to roll off your back. You find your rhythm and things start to seem less daunting... you even start to laugh at the "advice" because you've got this mama. 

Which is why I got such a kick out of this video from BuzzFeed Parents, all about the weird advice that people serve up to new moms and dads. As if the sleep deprivation and leaky boobs didn't make us vulnerable enough.

And to completely contradict myself, here's a smidgen of advice for all the new parents out there:

Just trust your gut. You've got this. ;)

Happy Mother's Day.